A fashion expert helps answer this common question.
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Jolène M. Bouchon
Jolène M. Bouchon
Jolene Bouchon is a seasoned writer with over 18 years experience writing about food and lifestyle.
Brides's Editorial Guidelines
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Blair Donovan
Blair Donovan
Blair Donovan was a digital producer and SEO writer at Brides from 2017 to 2019. She is currently the shopping editor of style at Apartment Therapy Media.
Brides's Editorial Guidelines
Updated on 10/23/23 09:10AM
Once upon a time, mothers of the bride were expected to wear matronly dresses in Easter-egg pastels or washed-out shades of beige. Thankfully, that's in the past, and moms are now able to freely express their sartorial sensibilities on their child's big day. But with more freedom comes a little more confusion, and determining what the mother of the bride should wear can oftentimes get a bit overwhelming.
Not to worry, though, as we asked a fashion expert to provide a few pointers for making this process as seamless as possible. Whether you're a bride who's hoping to help your mom find the perfect look or the matriarch of the family, we've got the who, what, when, where, and how of mother-of-the-bride attire. Read on below for all the expert tips, and don't forget to take notes!
Meet the Expert
Shea Jensen is a fashion expert with over 30 years of experience in the men's and women's apparel industry.
43 Emotional Mother-of-the-Bride Photos
Tips for Selecting a Mother-of-the-Bride Look
If you take away only one tip, let it be this one: Follow the bride's cues about style, color, and degree of formality. It's the couple's job to set the tone for the event—whether that means a casual country wedding complete with cowboy boots or a formal black-tie affair—so if you're a mom who's currently searching for an ensemble, ask your daughter for some guidelines and follow suit. After that, the rest lies in the details, as highlighted below.
Complement the Wedding Party
Traditionally, the mother of the bride's gown should complement (but not match) the color of the wedding party's attire. That's why fashion expert Shea Jensen shares that mothers of the bride should wait until their daughters have chosen their bridesmaids' dresses before heading to the mall. For instance, if the bridal party is wearing black co*cktail dresses, as the mom, you might want to choose something in silver or grey. Or, if the bridesmaids are wearing cobalt blue, a navy dress would pair perfectly.
Take Cues from the Venue
While almost anything goes for mother-of-the-bride attire—so long as the bride approves—it is important to follow certain cues dictated by the venue. For example, it's probably best to wear a strapless dress to a beach ceremony rather than a church wedding. Simply put, take the weather and cultural or religious customs into account when finding a mother-of-the-bride outfit, and always look for something that is elegant, understated, and appropriate.
Plan Ahead and Communicate Your Choice
According to Jensen, moms should start searching for a dress no later than three months before the big day, as this will allow time for special orders and alterations. What's more, since it's customary for the mother of the bride to buy her dress first, and then share her choice with the mother of the groom, planning ahead will ensure that everyone has time to coordinate their looks.
The mothers' dresses don't have to match (unless that's what the bride wants), but they should complement each other.
Don't Forget the Glam
While there aren't any special rules for mother-of-the-bride glam, moms should try and stick with a look that is elegant, understated, and appropriate. As for where to get ready, if the bride prefers to get glammed up with just the bridesmaids, don't get offended. As the mother of the bride, you can invite the mother of the groom or other family members to get glammed up before the ceremony, or relish the rare moment of quiet and plan to slip off on your own. Just make sure that you do plan to get your hair and makeup done—whether by a professional or trusted friend. Too often, mothers overlook themselves in favor of their children. Remember, it's your special day, too!
The 13 Best Places to Buy Stylish Mother-of-the-Bride Dresses
Try blues, greens, purples, and neutrals such as navy, emerald, plum, or silver. These versatile – and universally flattering – palettes make it easy for mothers of the bride and groom to harmonize. With pale green and blue tints, we love silvery shades for Mum, while jewel tones pair well with other rich colours.
The MOTB's dress should be elegant, understated, and, above all, seasonally appropriate. Mother of the bride dresses for outdoor summer weddings should be lightweight and flowy. She should not be required to wear thick, lengthy, and heavy skirts.
Unless otherwise instructed, is to never wear white or any colour close to what the bride has chosen to wear. Other standard colours to avoid include ivory, white and champagne. Another colour to avoid is black. If black is a colour that you usually like to wear, this might be the time to reconsider.
A: The Mother of the Bride is special. She needs to stand out a bit from the bridesmaids, so her dress should complement rather than match the bridesmaid's dresses. For example, the MOB could wear a dress in a similar color to the bridesmaids but in a deeper shade.
A-Line Dresses: A-line dresses are a classic choice for mothers of the bride. This silhouette gently skims over the waist and hips, creating an elongated and slimming effect. Choose a dress with vertical details, such as pleats or vertical lace panels, to further enhance the illusion of length.
Because the mother of the groom isn't part of the bridal party, she should avoid choosing a dress in the same color as the bridesmaids' attire, the mother of the bride's dress, or the wedding gown.
Consider when and where the event is taking place. For summer ceremonies abroad or in a marquee, lightweight chiffon or satin, pastel hued and floral print occasion dresses are the order of the day. Whereas winter weddings or formal venues call for jewel tones and more structured wool-silk fabrics.
When deciding whether your mother-of-the-bride dress should be long or short, it's important to consider the wedding venue and formality. A formal setting calls for a more upscale ensemble (like something floor-length), while a shorter, more casual wedding outfit is appropriate for laid-back celebrations.
These days, virtually anything goes—formal gown, short or long dress, skirt-and-jacket ensemble—so long as it matches the style of the wedding. Brides can be very helpful by encouraging "the moms" to work together in choosing their outfits.
What we recommend you wearing for a daytime wedding, is a swing or tea dress. As we mentioned earlier, this style of dress is one sure to stand the test of time, while ensuring you look quite the opposite of matronly.
As the mother of the bride, you might be asked to hold many of the brides' trinkets and larger things like shoes. For that, we recommend a medium sized handbag such as the BRYANT MED or ADDIE MED.
As a rule of thumb it's best not to wear white, ivory, or cream-colored dresses. These colors can take away attention from the bride–and no one wants to do that on such a special occasion.
Typically the Mother of the Bride's dress should complement the bridal party's color palette. Not necessarily match with the bridesmaids, but choose a color in the color family. The most popular color for the mother of the bride to wear is navy or a royal blue, followed by blush or a shade of nude.
more formal than the attire of the wedding guests. The dress should also be appropriate for the time of day and the style of the wedding. For daytime weddings, it is typically more appropriate to choose a knee-length or midi length dress.
Generally, we recommend giving yourself 6-8 months to shop for the right dress. You want enough time to find a dress you love and get any necessary alterations before the big day, so that your dress fits perfectly for the wedding.
While the mother of the bride, mother of the groom, and special guests always have the option to match the bridal party or wear a similar shade, we created this handy guide to make further color-coordination effortless. Try greys and neutrals such as charcoal, champagne, blush, or a metallic.
The mother of the bride is traditionally escorted by her son if she has one. Otherwise, any close male relative, the best man, or a groomsman walks with the mother of the bride during the procession.
A good option here would be to ask your family to dress in neutral colors. Tans, whites, blacks, greys. There are so many awesome options in this neutral colors! And they will all look nice and coordinated!
Introduction: My name is Annamae Dooley, I am a witty, quaint, lovely, clever, rich, sparkling, powerful person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.
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